Sometimes it takes looking from someone else's viewpoint to see how mired you are in something. Months ago, whenever the World Cup was, I was crushed by this man who is leaving for Germany. He had no idea he crushed me, but I was crushed. That week, I had a massage from my friend Rie, the goddess of bodyworkers, and I told her of my broken heart. Then, a few weeks later, when all my employment issues were going on and I had contacted him for advice, she and I went out to dinner and during he called to check in and make sure I was okay. Last she had heard was he'd broken my heart and now we were talking, hmmm. Then, this last tuesday, she had just gotten back from her incredible adventure and I was sitting in the lobby of the studio knitting and she asked who the hat was for. And of course it is for him for Germany. Granted it is a color that looks good on me if I choose not to give it to him. All of a sudden, I realized how I seemed to someone else - rather ewwww. And I was glad it actually felt over. Granted, I may not let it be completely over until he is on that plane. But I realize that is my choice and my delusion.
And on a happy note, I have 2 dates this next week with men from eharmony. (the timing seems perfect)
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