Random Thoughts on 4th of July

This 4th of July is my first day off since Memorial Day. Granted, a lot of the days, I don't work the whole day, and some of the days I only had one client, but having a whole day off is nice.
They are shooting off fireworks over Main Street right now. Makes me glad I didn't try to go to bed early.

The 4th of July and fireworks always reminds me of my mom and the fireworks in Foster City. The fireworks in Foster City shoot off right over head (or so they seem), so you watch them while lying on your back in the grass of the park. That is the best way to watch fireworks. Many feel it is better to view fireworks from up high and see many different firework shows. I would much prefer one show and to be directly under them.

My mom loved fireworks. She would oooh and ahhh, rather to my embarrassment, but now I do the same thing and laugh about it.

I skipped the party I was supposed to go to this evening and had dinner at home - quiet and lazy. I wasn't a complete hermit: I watched the parade this morning with friends; introduced Jane (my 22 month old friend) to Doris; stopped by a friends bbq; and went to the movies with another friend (during which we laughed a lot - Hangover is worth seeing); I even went for a walk down to the ocean and put my feet in the water (granted I did that by myself, so maybe that qualifies as hermity).

the coffee episode

So, anyone who knows me, knows I gave up drinking coffee about 2 years ago. Well, this has nothing to do with drinking coffee. So continue reading at your own risk.

Two weeks ago in my Pain and Orthopedic Evaluation class, my teacher got tired of telling people one on one how to do a coffee enema. So, he gave us all the directions. My thought was, hhmmmm...some day.

Well, this last Saturday in my deep tissue class, my teacher announced that this week (the upcoming Saturday) we would be working on the Psoas - which lies under your large intestine (i think i have my anatomy correct there) and we should clear out our large intestines before class this week and the best way to do this was a coffee enema.

Okay, I thought, I can do this, my mom used to do them all the time (part of the Gerson Therapy). But, I'd better try it before Friday or Saturday, because I don't know the timing of my body.

So, Sunday, I bought an enema bag and Monday, I bought coffee - organic, free trade coffee. So, Monday night, I proceeded to give myself a coffee enema. Granted I completely disregarded my teacher's directions that one should not do this at night (because I wasn't going to have any day time to do it until Saturday) and I disregarded my friend saying it was like really good cocaine (hmmm... what does that do, keep you up?). Well, I didn't keep the coffee in as long as you are supposed to. Perhaps that was a good thing. I was so wired, it was hard to get to sleep and when I did, I didn't sleep well. Granted, I slept on the floor due to my concern that relaxing might make a mess (which it didn't - thank goodness) and I think people were climbing on the fire escape during the night - or I might have just imagined that. Anyway I didn't sleep well or much and I was still wired in the morning.

The wierd, nostalgic thing was the smell reminded me of my mom as she did coffee enemas as part of the Gerson Therapy when she was sick.

Anyway, I am going to do it again early Saturday morning. We shall see how it goes the second time.

Hives and my mental health

At some point early this week, my sister pointed out that I didn't seem happy. And unfortunately she is right. So we talked about things that would help - a therapist, chocolate, and sex. (Granted chocolate and sex are short term, but endorphins are always good). She was big on the therapist for the long haul and chocolate in the meantime.

Midweek, I went for a waxing, but due to the hives, we really couldn't wax. My waxer and I were talking and she recommended I check out her talking doctor and then she called someone she knows that is kind of an intuitive - she clears crap out of your energy (I think that is how one might describe it). She talked to me for a couple minutes and said my hives were probably due to one of three things (let's see if i can remember all three). All three struck a chord. The first had to do with abandonment issues "probably concerning your mother." hmmmm.... The second had something to do with feeling like a victim (I don't remember but it struck home the way she said it). And the third had to do with feeling like you haven't done enough (which is pretty much how I always feel) but she said it stemmed from something in my childhood and childhood responsibilities. I haven't called her to get her services for clearing yet. Still mulling it over, but... she seems onto something.

I finally called my healer and she said my hives were probably due to stress and too much heat in my body. To eat/drink thinks that would cool me down (ie: grapefruit juice) and to concentrate on being happy. It is hard to take someone telling you to be happy, when you don't feel like you have access to it at all. But I am going to see her today and I have been drinking lots of grapefruit juice.

Thursday I did have a meeting with our COO where we discussed my job duties and my salary. This meeting made me feel much better for several reasons - I felt heard and I got that she appreciates me.

Yesterday I saw my acupuncturist. She thinks the hives are a virus trapped in an energy channel (it makes sense when she explains it). And there might be something connected to my large intestine too. So I am taking fiber and flax seed oil and a skin remedy.

So somehow all of these things culminating have helped my hives - they are still here and itch, but not as bad - which is a step in the right direction. And although I wouldn't say I am happy, I wouldn't say it feels completely inaccessible either.

Super Bowl Sunday and the anti-social weekend

The Pats lost. Which I think was a surprise to everyone (even the Giants, although they won't admit it.). I went to a local bar at the end of half time to watch the the rest of the game with other people - a friend of mine was either working or would have been there - anyway, they wouldn't let me in as they were full up. I could have pulled the "is so& so working?" but I just didn't have it in me. So my big social outing was given the ole heave ho.

I have had the anti-social weekend. Not that I was trying to be anti-social. I did go to the farmer's market in the rain and I did try to go to a bar.

I stayed home sick on friday. I just slept most of the day. Saturday, I made to knitting class, it was our last one. Then I knit and napped the rest of the day.

Next weekend I will be in NYC. I hope I am a little more lively.

I did cook today. So I have food for the week - or at least a portion of the week.

I think this is the most boring post ever. There is more to say and yet I am not sure how to say it.

I am happy for the Peytons. And I am unhappy that the Pats didn't complete their perfect season.

I didn't do anything specific to honor my mom's memory on Friday. I was sick. I did think about her and how I used to call her from college and talk for an hour or so with her when I was sick. I will go walk down to the ocean tomorrow morning on my walk. She has been gone 19 years. And as of this next Friday she would have been 73 years old.