Hives and mental health update and rambling

So everything seems to be on the upswing. Hives are almost gone. My homework from my healer is to make time for fun and to dine. (What's wrong with eating on the run? It is efficient) So, new habits are going into place. It should be interesting on the days I am at work from noon to 10P. Last week I fit in my meditation before teaching, now I get to fit in that AND dining. hmmmm....

I took class for myself Saturday evening, which was great. And tonite I went and saw the movie Charlie Bartlett with Dot.

The other thing my healer said is that I shouldn't continue to see the person I have been seeing on and off for awhile. She said he is too serious and I need someone fun. And she said he is scared to get too close, whereas he has told me he has intimacy issues (can you say "red flag"?). Have you ever wondered if you will ever find sex quite as fabulous? He may not be "fun" but...

It would be easier if I were interested in someone other than him and my celebrity boyfriends, George and James (Clooney and McAvoy respectively). (yes i have a fertile imagination)

thoughts to sleep on

Love and other Meanderings (inc. a letter to my mom)

love
from the heart
Heart pouring out
soaking another with love.
Drowned by love - a concept
Could someone's love be so big that it might literally drown you?
How horrible to drown one that you love with your abundance of love.
How much love can a person absorb, accept, allow.

If someone's heart has only a trickle of love,
how do they break the dam open?
Can they? Do they want to?

Life bombards us with ideas, concepts, commitments, shoulds and shouldn'ts.
How do we pick and choose which to accept, which to let in.
Which do we let run us?
Which do we refrain from?

How do you cuddle yourself?
Seek solace with your own arms?
Where are the other arms that I am to seek solace inside of?

I feel as if suddenly - all of a sudden -
I have aged. I suddenly look my age.

Dear Mom,
Please help Kuan Yin to supply me with endless compassion. Please help me to find the arms that will provide me with solace and strength and love; the arms that with both protect and provide. The arms that are connected to the body with which I will procreate.

I know, I need to get back into action.
It is all in my hands. The creation of my life. The search for the arms of solace.

I cannot choose a man that I want to help.
I can choose a man I want to build something with.

The architect gave me hope. He was driftwood. I am getting near the shore. The circus guy was driftwood too.
What is next to do to find land? I may find an island (bigger driftwood) before I find land.