the adventures of kate the great

the Birthday Beer, Books and the Bronx Tour Begins

2011-10-21T06:31:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning at 7a to church bells. They were beautiful. Then I rolled back over and went to sleep. I slept 8-9 hours last night. I was asleep by 10:30 EST, which means it was 7:30p at home. I so wanted to venture out and run an errand or see a friend or two that bartend, but I was pooped.

I am staying in a room in a wonderful apartment in the East Village. Granted it looked a lot more together in the pictures on line, but its is nice and clean and feels safe. I am off now to meet a friend at Sotheby's and see the end of an auction and have lunch. Then I am going to the main branch of the NYC Public Library for a tour. I may take an audio tour through the park after that. hmmmm.... then perhaps a beer. I do need to buy my book club book while I am here as I need to finish it (and start it for that matter) before 10/30.

(I don't think this is very interesting writing, more of note to myself) I do hope to take pictures and post them as well as write of adventures.

I suppose my biggest adventure so far was having my friend pick me up at the airport. That was an easy adventure, I was just nervous about it - more nervous about how I would feel. And all went well. :)

Yoga...

2011-09-02T10:05:00.001-07:00

I haven't been in awhile. Perhaps it should be my goal this weekend. And I actually love all the names for the poses even the ones I never remember AND I found this very funny. Next time I go to yoga, I may giggle about it.

I love reading lists

2011-09-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

I do. I love reading lists. I love lists of books. Especially when they have books that I haven't read that others like. I love fiction. I love the escape of it. I love inhabiting other times and worlds and social classes. Reading lists make me excited. I love it when people talk about books they love.

What brought this on, you ask? My friend just posted a list on facebook. And I needed to post it. And I suppose I needed to talk about my love of reading lists. How much do I love Goodreads.com just for the lists? ( A lot!!!)

So here is her list from the Telegraph. It is the 110 books that make the perfect library. I might debate about the perfect library; my current perfect library would include the fourth Game of Thrones book and the Sookie Stackhouse book where Eric looses his memory (one because I am almost done with the previous book and one to reread).

NYEs past

2009-12-31T21:22:00.000-08:00

Memories from childhood include sleeping over at my Grandmothers to and watching movies with my cousins.
Other memories from childhood include charades games with the neighbor families, where sometimes we postponed midnight because we were in the middle of the game. When you have two men in the room named Jay, it is easier to get Roget's Thesaurus.
Senior year of high school, got me grounded for a month, after getting so ill from Mr. Jack Daniels. (granted being grounded when you are in rehearsals and dance classes, doesn't change your life too much).
One NYE, I went to see the movie Chorus Line with my sister and her friend.
One spectacular NYE, Victoria and I went to Vegas - Lottie and Lala had a great time.
This year, my friend Amiee and I are going to Zanzibar to see my favorite d.j. We will nosh a bit first at a local restaurant then to dance to fabulous music. Perhaps there will be stories to relate tomorrow. hmmm...

New Years Eve

2009-12-31T21:19:00.001-08:00

Just getting over another flu. This has been the season for them. This is the last day of the decade, the year, and it is a Blue Moon. What does this portent? What are my goals for the next year? What are my wishes and desires? hmmm.... love is definitely on the list. A larger income, a baby, what else? my G tour (Greece, Geneva, and maybe Germany). Now to make plans. I am feng shui-ing my apartment to create space for someone to enter my life (and for all good things).

life update

2009-10-19T19:43:00.001-07:00

Well the diet went out the window when I came down with the flu the next day. All is well now. I am currently eating wee bits of really good chocolate and drinking red wine (my hormones are happy). Life feels very confusing at the moment, and all there is to do is to keep moving forward.

Last week, my friend and neighbor Kellie Jean started helping me feng shui my apartment. I got rid of a lot of stuff and there is more to get rid of. My love corner and my money corner have been transformed. Now if my love life and my financial standing would become transformed, I would be very excited.

Keep moving forward. Little steps. - these seem to be my current mantra.

quotes

2009-10-19T19:38:00.000-07:00

In the current clean out of my home, I have found the following quotes. And since I want to throw away the little cards they are on, I am posting them here.

No bird soars too high if he soars iwth his own wings. - William Blake

You are the one who can stretch your own horizon. - Edgar Magnin

Never fear the space betweenyour dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so. - Belva Davis (this one is helping right now)

Dram lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. - James Allen

It may be those who do most, dream most. - Stephen Leacock

Do not pray for dreams equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your dreams. - Phillip Brooks

Have the courage to embrace the greatness for which you were born. - Edge Keynote

Kinky at Cal Plaza

2009-09-22T07:30:00.000-07:00

Sunday night, after much anticipation, I went to see, one of my favorite bands, Kinky. They were fabulous. I created a goal for myself (and now that I am writing it down, I need to figure out the best way to do it) of translating their Spanish songs into English so that I know what they are singing. I am sure there is some place on line that has this, but I would learn a lot from doing it myself. My friend, Angeles, kept translating bits of songs for my on Sunday and it just made me want to know more.

The crowd was huge. It was hard to find a place to stand and still see the band and not be standing in "fire lanes." But we did it. We found an edge to stand and dance in where we could see and it wasn't over crowded.

I just love watching them move. I like listening to them sing too, but I love to watch them move about the stage. I will have to find a video clip that shows this so I can post it.

Word of Warning (from a friend)

2009-09-22T07:27:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I was telling a friend of mine about my new diet. Her warning was not to lose weight too quickly as it will show in my face. Which has always seemed a good thing, but now it means my wrinkles will show more, my skin will be a bit loose. All the things to think about.

wait weight

2009-09-21T17:19:00.001-07:00

This morning I actually dared weigh myself. Lately (as in this summer), I have been eating and drinking with very little regard for what it is other than pleasure and I have noticed areas of my body becoming larger and my clothes becoming tighter. The weight didnt' wait. So, according to the doctor like scale we have at the clinic, I weigh 148 pounds. I weighed myself for the sole purpose of being able to see how much weight I lose. I have put myself on a very strict diet, which has some leeway given my activity level. (leeway and strict in the same sentence, hmmm.... - but adding a few ounces of veggies or an extra piece or two of fruit is allowable). So far so good (granted it is day 1). I don't know what the goal is other than I feel better in my clothes. I should end up a bit healthier too. I was going to do the Master Cleanse again. But this seemed much healthier both physically and mentally. It is 3.5 oz of veggies 2x a day, 3.5 oz of fish 2x a day and 3.5 oz of fruit 2x a day. And lots of water and tea. I am back on a bit of caffiene, but very rarely. We shall see how this goes. If I need more fruit and/or veggies so I don't bite anyones head off, I think that is completely okay. The hard part is prep and choices, where in the master cleanse there are no choices.

sisters

2009-08-30T22:07:00.000-07:00

Today, I was reminded of the power of sisterhood. I went to visit my great aunt - my grandmother's brother's wife. I hadn't seen her in about 15 years. I am in Chicago for work and I drove out to Oakpark to visit her and her sister (they live together). It turns out my aunt has Alzheimer's. Her sister didn't tell me that until I arrived. She did tell me she was confined to a wheelchair before I drove out. She looked good. Her eyes are bright blue and she had make up on (and not too much). They have help. A day person and a night. But Sunday the day help leaves early. My aunt was excited to have a guest. It was nice to see them both. They are only 2 years apart and my aunt's disease began 2 years ago - a bit of a concern. My aunt's sister takes such good care of her and has so much patience, it is amazing. I only hope my sister is so patient and caring with me; or that I can be with her. My aunt's sister, Jo, made the comment that she thinks all girls should have sisters because in some way they need them and I believe they enhance each other. I wish I had taken a picture of them together as they are beautiful and they both glow in their own way. I am thankful for my sister.

Random Thoughts on 4th of July

2009-07-05T00:16:00.000-07:00

This 4th of July is my first day off since Memorial Day. Granted, a lot of the days, I don't work the whole day, and some of the days I only had one client, but having a whole day off is nice.
They are shooting off fireworks over Main Street right now. Makes me glad I didn't try to go to bed early.

The 4th of July and fireworks always reminds me of my mom and the fireworks in Foster City. The fireworks in Foster City shoot off right over head (or so they seem), so you watch them while lying on your back in the grass of the park. That is the best way to watch fireworks. Many feel it is better to view fireworks from up high and see many different firework shows. I would much prefer one show and to be directly under them.

My mom loved fireworks. She would oooh and ahhh, rather to my embarrassment, but now I do the same thing and laugh about it.

I skipped the party I was supposed to go to this evening and had dinner at home - quiet and lazy. I wasn't a complete hermit: I watched the parade this morning with friends; introduced Jane (my 22 month old friend) to Doris; stopped by a friends bbq; and went to the movies with another friend (during which we laughed a lot - Hangover is worth seeing); I even went for a walk down to the ocean and put my feet in the water (granted I did that by myself, so maybe that qualifies as hermity).

mmmm....

2009-06-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

So, I have had a crush on my ballet teacher for awhile now. Last saturday, he had invited our class to a modern ballet performance that he had had something to do with, and I saw him there. Tonite, one of my classmates from the class I take from him had a "gallery opening" at the panini restaurant down the street from me. Knowing he would be there, I went and hung out. And when he showed up, he hung out with me. He helped the artist too, but he kept coming back. Anyway, he and I went out to grab a bite at the irish pub across the street from the opening and then hung out. I had fun. He is actually older than I thought. He is an odd combination of dorky and cocky that is really intriguing.

Please note that these are the thoughts of a rather inebriated woman (which would be much more apparent if I didn't have some kind eye for typos - I realize that this statement may be completely guffawed at by more sober eyes)

I like him. We'll see how wednesdays class goes...

The Summer of Love

2009-06-18T14:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am declaring this the Summer of Love. My friend Amy has declared it that for her and her husband, and I am just copying them. I don't know how it will show up, and perhaps it will show up the way I want as me being madly in love at the end of the summer.

Lists

2009-05-07T17:53:00.000-07:00

I love lists. I have found 3 lists of music that I want to save and share. Imagine, I clipped these from a magazine before there was Itunes. So much that we take for granted wasn't around 5 -10 years ago. hmmm...

CDs to Quicken the Heartbeat
Starring Fred Astaire (2 cd set)
When I Look In Your Eyes - Diana Krall
Tu, Tu, Amore - the 3 Tenors sing some of opera's most passionate arias
Il Postino
The Brasil Project - Bossa nova with the world's sexiest harmonica
Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
Beyond the Missouri Sky - Jazz rhapsodies
Paris After Dark - Cabaret songs
John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman - Sax & voice

Virtuosos on CD
Vivaldi: the 4 Seasons
Bach: Double Concerto for 2 Violins
Itzhak Perlman's Greatest Hits
Barber, Meyer: Violin Concertos
Bach: Sonatas and Partitas
The Kreisler Album
Mozart: Violin Concertos Nos. 3 & 5
Great romantic Concertos (Itzhad Perlmans' essential 3-CD set)
Mendelssohn, Tchaikovsky: Violin Concertos

Piano Music
Emil Gilels - Beethoven Sonatas: Pathetique & Moonlight
Wilhelm Kempff - Beethoven: Piano Concertos 4&5
Arthur Rubinstein - the Rubinstein Collection, Vol. 26: Chopin Nocturnes and Scherzos
Krystian Zimerman - Liszt: Sonata in B Minor
Vladimir Horowitz - Great Pianists of the 20th Century, Vol 47
Murray Perahia - Schumann, Grieg Piano Concertos
Van Cliburn - Tchaikovsky Concerto No. 1 & Rachmaninoff Concerto No. 2
Vladimir Horowitz - Horowitz Plays Rachmaninoff
Arcadi Volodos - Live at Caregie Hall

Beer Review

2009-05-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

I found my notes from beers from a place called BJ's - which may be in Portland, but I don't remember.

I believe it is from my dad & my beer and bookstore tour of the northwest.

Blonde - kinda tastes like a light beer. Dad - "I sorta like this one."
Heifeweizen - funky; "another one of those clovy ones."
Pale Ale - has bite at end, "Shirley would love it."
*Red - good - kinda like a porter; "has a sweet taste"
*Porter - same as Red but smoother; "the flavor isn't overpowering"
Stout - like the porter but stronger (I like porter better)
*Nutty Brewnette - flavorful yet mellow; "not bad"

(note Dad's comments are in quotes)

slighly perverse

2009-04-03T10:41:00.001-07:00

Okay, there is part of me that on eharmony, when asked the 3 best traits I have to offer a partner, I really want to just say, I own a pole, I just finished studying massage, and I make a mean 3 berry pie.

Random Thoughts From a Walk On the Beach

2009-03-31T13:26:00.000-07:00

I am amazed at home many colors of blue there are between the sky and the ocean.
How is it that Enya with music that is reminiscent of fog and Mel Torme with a big band are both perfect for a walk on the beach?
Mel's song about San Diego makes me laugh.
Everything seems okay - oddly enough.
I love it when people say hello to strangers when they are walking (so very un-LA and so very fabulous)
I love that sometimes when songs come on they fill you with joy before your head has even figured out what it is.

Songs I walked to this morning (and yes it was on shuffle): Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss -the Bloodhound Gang; The Kill (Bury Me)-30 Seconds to Mars; Na Laetha Geal Moige - Enya; Lust for Life - Iggy Pop; You Got Me All Wrong - Dios Malos; They Go To San Diego - Mel Torme; Doll Parts - Hole

25 Random Ass Things

2009-03-20T16:30:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I did this for facebook, but I promised myself I would post it here too.

This is just 25 random things about me.

1. My dad and Shirley left for Costa Rica last week.
2. I love chocolate milkshakes that come with the extra in the silver cup.
3. When I say I have eclectic taste in music, I really mean it.
4. I love to travel - but I love coming home too.
5. I love teaching S Factor (I loved teaching ballet too - it is just different).
6. I love helping peoples bodies and figuring out their puzzles.
7. I love the fact my best friends are very opinionated.
8. My nieces fill my heart to over flowing much of the time.
9. I am proud of my dad and love the fact he still plays bball.
10. I am secretly a snob about some things.
11. I am good at keeping secrets IF I know it is a secret.
12. I am a study geek (and my friends at school point this out a lot)
13. I often give my heart too freely and too quickly - I am working on slowing myself down.
14. My sister accuses me of forgiving too easily, which is true, but I do sometimes hold grudges.
15. I miss my Mommy.
16. I love the sound of rain on the roof.
17. I love playing in puddles when I know I can go home and take a hot shower.
18. I love the fact that some of my fb friends have been my friends for years and years (and years).
19. I am starting to expand the things I can cook (and I am actually pretty good).
20. I have gotten hooked on Friday Night Lights - which I started watching due to reading an old friends review of it.
21. My ass is not random, it is fairly fabulous.
22. I prefer my martinis with gin and very dirty.
23. I believe in both peace and maid service - neither of which I have with any consistency.
24. I believe most people are more beautiful than they realize.
25. I am off to the farmer's market - ever hopeful that I will use the fruits and veggies I buy before they go bad.

Spoke Too Soon

2009-03-16T23:48:00.000-07:00

Once again, I spoke too soon.
Got out of yoga today and had a message from the man I like - seemed like a good thing. I was excited. He wanted to let me know (rather than just not calling) that he didn't see our relationship going anywhere. He was taking this eharmony thing very seriously and was looking for a serious relationship and he didn't see us having that.
You can't argue with his feelings, so I didn't. My little heart felt a bit bruised and battered. I wonder what it is I lack or have too much of that he wouldn't want a "serious" relationship with me. But... as a friend of mine pointed out, perhaps I just dodged a bullet.
Thank goodness I was going slowly.
The good thing is I seem to be attracting people that are closer and closer to what it is I want. As Mama Gena would say - he's driftwood. It means I am getting closer to shore. I just wish I could see the damn shoreline.

My Musings on Dating

2009-03-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

1. I actually like someone
2. I am trying not to jump 5 steps ahead of where we are in the moment
3. I am going slowly (so far so good)
4. I seem to be what is getting in the way by over analyzing
5. I need to keep dating other people partially so as not to obsess
6. I woke up the morning of our third date excited that I would get to kiss him that day
7. I need to keep dating other people so as not to obsess
8. I really want to enjoy this process
9. I realize I don't think I really know how to date, I tend to jump in and be "in a relationship" sometimes before I know if I really like them

What I Teach

2009-03-11T16:17:00.000-07:00

(granted I don't teach bears) but this one is pretty good.

Drinks

2009-03-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

Friday night, after taking my students out to Cheetahs, I went to Seventh and Grand for my friend's beau's birthday. It is a very cool bar that loves to serve whiskey drinks. I followed the beau's advice and had an Old Fashioned - and oh my goodness. It was yummy. Now, the coincidence is that today, looking in the LA Weekly, I stumbled across this article that mentions the bar AND lots of other supposedly cool places to drink here in Lala land.

List of Books

2009-02-21T02:20:00.001-08:00

I love books. I love to read. I love lists of books, because it gives order to what to read - not that I ever follow them in order. I just like them.

A friend posted this list stating that the BBC said most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. I wonder who they polled, as I have read 51 (and if you subtract the 2 I haven't read completely I still have read 49). I don't know where the quote from the BBC came from, but, as previously stated, I love lists of books.

Xs mark what I have read
*s mark what I plan to read (granted I plan to read everything on the list I haven't read)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen X
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien X
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte X
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling X
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible X—wee parts
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte X
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman X
10 Great Expectations - Charles DickensX
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy – I don’t remember
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller X
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare X – not the complete works – but a fair amount
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier*
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien X
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk *
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger X
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger X
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot *
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell*
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens *
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy *
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams X *
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh *
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky *
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X – I think I read a few of them as a child
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame X I think so
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy *
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens *
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis X
34 Emma - Jane Austen X
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen X
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini X
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres * (saw the movie)
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden X
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne X
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell *
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez X
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving X
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins *
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery *
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy *
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood X
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding X
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan *
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel *
52 Dune - Frank Herbert *
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons X
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen X
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth *
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon *
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens X (I think so)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley *
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon *
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez X
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck X
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov X
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt *
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold X
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas X++
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac *
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy *
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding X
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie *
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville *
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens *
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker *
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett X
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson *
75 Ulysses - James Joyce *
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath *
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome *
78 Germinal - Emile Zola *
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray *
80 Possession - AS Byatt *
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens X
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell X (currently reading)
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker X
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro *
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert *
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry *
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom X
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle *
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton *
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad *
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint Exupery X
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks *
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams X
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole *
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute *
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas *
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo *

25 Random Things

2009-02-21T02:15:00.001-08:00

So, on Facebook, I have been asked to write 25 random things. I think they are supposed to be things that most people don't know about me. So I am going to write 5 here and see how that goes. I will later post whatever it is I post on fb.

1. I miss my cat and I don't feel quite ready for a new one. Soon.
2. I have trouble getting myself to bed at a reasonable hour. (and not due to anything exciting)
3. I built my own bed.
4. I love my apartment although I wish it had more rooms (mostly so my sister could come and stay with the kids easily).
5. I am slowly expanding my culinary capacities.
6. I really dig TCM (traditional chinese medicine).

Okay, that is 6

Disneyland in the rain

2009-02-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

I spent today at Disneyland and CA Adventure. It didn't really rain until we got into Disneyland and then... it poured. We did go on the newly reopened It's a Small World. And we rode around on the train (granted it didn't rain while we were on the train) but as soon as we got off to go to Toon Town...it poured again. But both Mickey and Minnie were home. And Pluto and Goofy were at Mickey's too. So we had a lot of fun. The Princessland doesn't have the show or storytime that they used to, which was a bummer for all of us ( especially the 4 yr old) - but we all took it in stride. Then as we were going to grab lunch - it hailed and then ... the sun came out (to cheers). And it didn't rain at all while we napped back at the HoJo. But as we headed back, it started to sprinkle. But thank goodness it stopped. I got to ride the bumper cars at CA Adventure with my niece before I had to drive back home to go to class tonite. It was fun. I think I am the only one that really napped during nap time, but, I will be up late for school and then driving back down to D-land for more tomorrow. It was one of those days when it seemed to pour, whenever we stepped out from under cover.
Last year when we were at Dland and it rained, they had little tents up to stand in while you were in line for rides. This year, they didn't. I don't know if they too are cutting back - it doesn't seem like them. hmmm... The ticket price is still up, so we should have the same amenities.
(pictures coming soon).

Jon Carroll

2009-01-23T09:25:00.000-08:00

This morning I remembered something I had forgotten... Jon Carroll columns are a great way to start the day. I just read the whole weeks worth. All of them good. All of the them thought provoking. The one from Monday talks about comfort music.

I spend a lot of time teaching my students to listen to music differently. I want them to choose music that makes their bodies happy. This is almost always different from music that makes their brains happy, or their favorite song to listen to in the car. And it is probably different from comfort music. But I wonder where the overlap is. There are probably songs that make your body happy or have made your body happy (they do change) that also bring comfort.

As I think about it. What is comfort? Is it a feeling of safety? home? love? the combination of all of them? Okay I looked it up...

com⋅fort

-verb (used with object)
1. to soothe, console, or reassure; bring cheer to
2. to make physically comfortable
-noun
3. relief in affliction; consolation; solace
4. a feeling of relief or consolation.
5. a person or thing that gives consolation.
6. a cause or matter of relief or satisfaction.
7. a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from pain and anxiety.
8. something that promotes such a state.

There are many songs that bring me comfort in different ways, but two that pop into my mind right away are: Beautiful by Carole King and Big Bad Leroy Brown sung by Frank Sinatra (written by Jim Croce). Both of these go back to childhood. A third, which didn't bring comfort or a feeling of well being until this week, is the song they play for the president.

What music comforts you?

(I wrote this a few weeks ago, don't know why I didn't "publish" it then)

Tales of an incompetent chef

2009-01-19T13:20:00.000-08:00

So... yesterday I was so very proud of myself. I bought myself a hand mixer (the kind you use right in the pot) AND I made broccoli/cauliflower soup. It was pretty good. It needed a little pepper, which is easy enough to add.
Then, today, I went to go get myself some soup for lunch and put the rest in the fridge (I had left it on the stove last night).
Okay, it was not good anymore as I had put a lot of milk in it so it was creamy. Now, I know you don't leave milk out, and yet... this was soup. So due to procrastination, I wasted of a whole pot of soup. I definitely learned my lesson. Immediately put left overs away. Slowly, I am finding more and more reasons not to procrastinate.

Hair and Age

2009-01-19T13:15:00.001-08:00

Saturday, I went to get my hair cut and colored. I don't know what it is about hair salons. Now when I go, I hate staring in the mirror. I am so present to the lines in my face and the skin on my neck. I don't look that old in the mirror at home. So, maybe it is the lighting. Maybe it is being surrounded by very young faces at the salon. I guess now I need to worry about my lighting. It may not be a cost effective to walk around with my own lighting crew all the time. I guess it is true, the older you get the more more maintenance is required. Argh...

Morning Music

2009-01-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

Went for a walk this morning and the shuffle on my play list took my brain on a ride...
Are You Experienced - Patti Smith
Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
Amie - Damien Rice
Where Did you Sleep Last Night? (Live) - Nirvana - which during the clapping I was thinking about how much pain one might need to be in to want to end it
Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney - which in contrast to thinking about death, lifts you up and opens your heart, and I wondered if someone would feel that way about me, and I thought of my trainee that turned me on to the song and that whole class of trainees and how proud I am of them
(then sticking with the beatles theme...)
I Am the Walrus - Bono
5 String Serenade - Mazzy Star
(then making me smile as I approached home)
The Groove is On - Groove Armada

Just got home from a date and I wonder...

2009-01-05T00:55:00.000-08:00

I wonder... It was a third date. I kissed him after he walked me to the car. and no "ooh!" no socks rolling up and down. When we talked I wondered what he was passionate about (granted I didn't think of asking that straight out until later, I had asked what he enjoys doing for fun). He seems great and caring and intelligent, but not really opinionated or excited. Maybe it is because he still seems a bit nervous around me, but I don't know. If I'd felt something during the kiss it would have helped. But nothin'. arrgh...

New Year's Day

2009-01-01T21:01:00.000-08:00

Welcome 2009. We have been waiting for you. We have great hopes for you. We have a new president being inaugurated this month. And we have all kinds of possibilities available. It may not seem that way with the climate of lack and want. But there are always possibilities. It will be an exciting year.

My friend, Tracy, asked me last night what I wanted in 2009. My first though was to be madly in love and happily pregnant (and I added - in love with some one equally in love with me and excited that I am pregnant with his child).

This "resolution" scares the begeezers out of me in some way. I have said it before and it hasn't happened yet. Having it not happen scares me and having it happen scares me too. But being madly in love and happy sounds like fabulous way to spend my time on earth. It is definitely something to live into.

dating

2008-12-22T23:47:00.001-08:00

Does anyone other than me often judge their date as others would see them? I had a second date with someone yesterday - unfortunately I was pooped and I am not sure why. He is very nice and kind and thoughtful. I am wondering what else there is to him. I can't go too beige.
Today I had a first date with someone, who I don't know if I will see him again. He is very fit. But he made a joke of everything I said. I think he was trying to be witty. And when he spoke, he sometimes closed his eyes to think. It was just very stylized. Knowing that my family would have such fun mocking him, I just don't know if I should go on a second date. But maybe, just maybe when he relaxes he is less stylized.

Travel and Christmas are upon me

2008-12-22T23:42:00.000-08:00

Travel and Christmas are upon me. Unfortunately that statement feels literal. As if I am being slightly smooshed by them. It is not huge and dramatic, just slight. I am rather ill prepared for both. And yet I am driving north tomorrow. I won't list what needs to get done before I go. Some of it may not get done. And that will have to be okay and typing it all here would take longer than doing some of it. Being home will be great. Seeing my nieces and my family will be great. And this Christmas should be pretty mellow. I am planning on giving everyone massages - so I get lots of practice and they get to feel how good I am (hopefully).

Facebook Status

2008-12-22T23:41:00.000-08:00

I realize my need to blog has been greatly taken care of by updating my facebook status regularly. I think I am going to blog (even if it is just a sentence or two) every time I update my status.

Cleanse Done

2008-12-12T13:37:00.000-08:00

I completed the 10 day Master Cleanse. Day 11 I drank the prescribed OJ and Day 12 I made some vegetable soup (which was yummy). I haven't had caffeine in 15 days - ooh! For me that is a record. Last time I did this, I didn't do the salt water flush or give up coffee. It all went well. That first weekend of eating (3 days after eating for the first time) I went out and ate with my parents. That first night I must have been a little gluttonous for early the next morning I woke up to my intestines simultaneously crying and yelling at me. I was fine but tender the next day and I ate rather more carefully the rest of the weekend. I still haven't had caffiene - 3 weeks later. I realized at the end of the 10 days that I could probably fit into my skinny jeans and lo and behold I can (unitended bonus).

Day 6 of Master Cleanse

2008-12-03T09:29:00.000-08:00

So, I did this once before for 10 days. But I didn't do the salt water flush. I am doing it this time. Granted it means you have to get up a lot earlier than you want so you feel intestinally secure when you walk out the door.
Normal side effect to this are bad breath and a coating on your tongue. (Luckily, I read that these were normal). In addition, my hips are achy. I did read that your body gets achy due to toxins getting released and cleansed (again, normal). Good side effects that others noticed (not I) - more energy (or at least I had it during rehearsal yesterday) and the dark circles under my eyes were lessened (granted I am having an easier time getting myself to bed earlier now).
My favorite thing about this cleanse is you don't have to make ANY decisions about food. Whereas on a diet you have choices - this eliminates them completely. Granted last night I really wanted ice cream and I did get to decide "no." If I had chosen "yes" I probably would have felt horrible - bleah.

Science Experiement Continues

2008-11-29T21:21:00.000-08:00

Today is my second day on the Master Cleanse. So far so good. Slight headache this morning and evening. But the flush worked this morning. If I keep drinking the stuff, I don't get hungry. We will see how it goes tomorrow - I am teaching 3 classes (there is a break between 2 of them). I have let the dating spree lapse, so perhaps I will call some of the people I need to call during my break tomorrow. My ph balance was good both yesterday and today.

Overcast sky

2008-11-26T09:23:00.000-08:00

This morning is the first morning in a long time that I am waking up ready to go, ready to take on my day. I am looking for what needs to get done and not lagging (although I am blogging). I am so very excited it is overcast and that it rained last night. I am glad sunny southern california has taken a break from being sunny. And I don't know if they are correlated (it probably has more to do with my health), but the sky is overcast and my outlook isn't. (maybe the rain washed away the gloom).

science experiment

2008-11-26T09:12:00.000-08:00

My anatomy teacher talked to our class about looking at our health as our own private science experiment. Checking our Ph balance to see what helps it, changes it, seeing how cleanses effect our general health. We have been exposed to a lot of ideas of how to make ones health better. I don't feel that I can recommend things to clients unless I have seen how they help.
So, I am starting the experiment after Thanksgiving. I am starting with the Master Cleanse (the one with lemon and cayanne and maple syrup) on Friday. I plan on doing for 5 day minimum to 10 days max. Then I was to do a colon cleanse and a gall bladder cleanse. But I will have to figure out the timing with the holidays. The gall bladder cleanse is 4-6 weeks and includes a vegan diet. But I have to figure out what works the best for me.
What I would like to see in my body, is for my joints to let less creaky, my energy level to be better, and the scar tissue in my body to heal.
Getting my liver and gall bladder to work better (perhaps optimally) should help all of this.

The Moon Is Half Full

2008-11-19T00:44:00.000-08:00

I saw the moon tonight as I was driving home. It was half full. It looked like a cup keeping its contents from falling upon the earth. Life feels that way. Just half full. And yet it is hard to keep its contents from spilling out and making a mess.

The dating spree is still on. And I actually had a good date tonite. He is closer but he doesn't feel like he is it. He is interesting and seems both more liberal and more green than I (which is something I want). But he made it clear about a half an hour in that on these first dates, eharmony doesn't think of them as "dates" and they say we each should pay his or her own share. Really? And while charming and good looking from the front, he was wearing a shirt only someone fit should wear and while he isn't unfit, not a great choice. I don't think I am that picky, and I know I sound picky right now, but... why can't I have everything?

Right now I just want someone who will hold me and tell me it will all be okay. I don't want to settle. (right now my sister and my best friend are picturing some of my previous beaus and thinking huh.???)

10 Good Things About Frankie

2008-10-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

1. Frankie had beautiful blue eyes
2. Frankie had elegance and grace
3. Frankie talked but she didn't squawk
4. Frankie always came running when I got home (except when I got home from Spain and then she let me worry)
5. Frankie always slept with me until I fell asleep.
6. Frankie was good with children.
7. Frankie traveled well.
8. Frankie kept me safe from cockroaches, mice and other cats.
9. Frankie let me snuggle with her whenever I wanted or needed.
10. Frankie was a good cat.

(yes, the idea was stolen from the book The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst that my sister just sent me)

Wheeeee! It's a Dating Spree!

2008-10-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

So far I have gone out with 4 different men. This online thing is very time intensive. This last week I have slacked off the actual on line bit. Granted the dates are taking up time. None of the dates have been bad, they have all been enjoyable. I just haven't been bowled over by anyone and I don't know if I "should" be bowled over (being knocked down doesn't sound fun).

Things I have discovered about myself...
There is a part of me that wants to be swept of my feet (granted, if that were to happen, I don't know if I would trust it - I would want to...)
I don't like it when men lie about their height.
I am disconcerted when my apartment would fit into their kitchen (not that I don't deserve a huge kitchen), but it is odd.
I don't want to invite anyone into my apartment at this point - partly because it is my space and partly because I haven't told them what kind of dance I teach (I dance around that fact).
I have to remind myself that men are tender souls and probably more insecure than I and yet, I don't have to be "nice" or accommodating (don't worry, I am always polite and friendly).
I am enjoying the process.
I need fun and I need financially responsible.
And I need at least taller than me, preferably taller than me in heels, but short by itself won't knock him out of the running.
I like it much better if they don't try to make out on the first date.

That is the spree at this point. I have another date Sunday with the man I went out with last night (which was fun and comfortable) and I am in phone communication with one other man. I suppose I'd better get back on line.

New Perspective

2008-10-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

A few weeks after my heart felt broken (maybe not even that long afterwards) both my sister and my best friend pointed out that he wasn't to blame. They both pointed out that it was my expectations that weren't met. And who is charge of my expectations? Yup, me. As Victoria pointed out, I was expecting him to behave and be as thoughtful as the "perfect woman." That nonexistent perfect standard that most (if not all) women hold themselves to, and guess what, he's a guy. We (read I) can't expect him to live up to something like that, I can't even expect other women to live up to it. Mens' minds work very differently than ours.

The funny thing that in the midst of my dating spree I still think of him. When I kiss dates, or rather if I make out with a date, he is who I compare them to. I had so much fun kissing him and so far none of my dates have even come close. Granted it may have to do with the alcohol consumption that happened that evening and I do keep that in mind. Fun is a good thing and often underrated.

Frankie and her fabulous life

2008-10-20T23:37:00.001-07:00

Text is coming tomorrow. (and probably more pictures).

quick update more coming tomorrow...

2008-10-20T23:35:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will be writing about Frankie and her fabulous life and I will write about my dating spree AND I will write about a change of outlook.

Hats and Martyrs

2008-10-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it takes looking from someone else's viewpoint to see how mired you are in something. Months ago, whenever the World Cup was, I was crushed by this man who is leaving for Germany. He had no idea he crushed me, but I was crushed. That week, I had a massage from my friend Rie, the goddess of bodyworkers, and I told her of my broken heart. Then, a few weeks later, when all my employment issues were going on and I had contacted him for advice, she and I went out to dinner and during he called to check in and make sure I was okay. Last she had heard was he'd broken my heart and now we were talking, hmmm. Then, this last tuesday, she had just gotten back from her incredible adventure and I was sitting in the lobby of the studio knitting and she asked who the hat was for. And of course it is for him for Germany. Granted it is a color that looks good on me if I choose not to give it to him. All of a sudden, I realized how I seemed to someone else - rather ewwww. And I was glad it actually felt over. Granted, I may not let it be completely over until he is on that plane. But I realize that is my choice and my delusion.

And on a happy note, I have 2 dates this next week with men from eharmony. (the timing seems perfect)

when your playlist makes you laugh

2008-10-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

Went for a walk this morning on the beach. Was breathing into my heart as the song Ready for Love by India.Arie came on. I thought to myself "well, perfect song." Then I ran into the man I have been seeing on and off for 4 years (I haven't spent any time with him since before April) and is moving to Germany this month. He was walking with his mom. We talked for a moment and I walked on. The next song to come on Scrood By U by Lords of Acid, which made me laugh as the lyrics are how in some ways I feel about him. Then as I turned around and crossed his path again Let's Get It On by good ole Marvin Gaye was playing. Then on my way back to my apartment was Ooh La La with Goldfrapp singing about being made for love. And then my favorite Song of the Siren by This Mortal Coil. And the whole time I kept remembering to breath into my heart. And I realized that his moving away creates more space for me to love and fall in love. And as I walked into my building I revolutionary thought (for me) that I love him, but I am not in love with him anymore.

Just an interesting side note, I named my new Ipod "Soundtrack to my Adventure."

Yes, I am a geek

2008-10-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

My thoughts after watching the first half of Ugly Betty last week...

Did you watch ugly betty? I couldn't even make myself stay awake to watch it all. The writing has gone downhill. Unless the whole first half was set up for the rest. Like back to the future 2 was just set up for 3.

Now after watching the second half, I realize the first half was just set up. But really, that much set up?

I will give it another chance, but we'll see.

On other tv related thoughts...I am so so glad that Life is back on the air. And we get two episodes this week. Mondays and tomorrow nights. Oooh...

disconcerting

2008-09-26T00:31:00.000-07:00

It is a little disconcerting to be watching Grey's Anatomy and happen to not fast forward through a news clip only to find out that your bank has been seized by the feds. Hmmmm.... I think I am changing banks tomorrow. The only thing is that my paycheck is being deposited automatically tomorrow. I guess I need to take care of that paperwork for my next paycheck. Life is wierd. We never thought banks could fail as we have fail safes in place. They don't seem as fail safe as they should. Or maybe it is that the depositors money is still safe (I certainly hope) even though the bank is changing hands. I am not sure how it works, but they just opened a Wells Fargo across the street from my home, so here I come.

eharmony

2008-09-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am fessing up. I have put myself on eharmony. My friend Victoria came over monday to help me fill out the forms and she has been giving me help over the phone since then. I officially joined yesterday and have taken on "conversing" with at least 5 people a day. Victoria says stick with at least 3, if there aren't 5 that are worth it - don't email just to make the numbers. But I think if they keep sending me more matches, I will always have options.

Yesterday I sent questions to 6 people. Tonite, I emailed 8 men. I am realizing that spelling and grammar are important to me since incorrect spelling and grammar drive me a bit crazy. (my sister is laughing at that as mine aren't perfect) I figure if I notice the error it is obvious.

We shall see - I will keep you "posted".

update on desires from last week

2008-09-25T01:25:00.000-07:00

1. I highly doubt the man i met last week read this blog - thank goodness
2. all of my classes lately have been really great
3. my trip to the dentist was long and my tooth is still a little tender, but it all went well
4. I didn't help the boy previously mentioned celebrate his birthday
5. Didn't go to the party where I would have had to wear silver, so didn't need to find an outfit. Instead I went to an old college friend's housewarming. It was great to touch base with him again and meet his sweetheart.
6. I have been sleeping well (when I get to bed)

A quick update...

2008-09-21T15:55:00.000-07:00

My heart is so much better. Time does wonders and so do friends well wishes and threats to kick him the shins. I know it is less than a week but it was only a wee heartbreak. And not that it helped my heart, but he did email to thank me for the flowers, which did make me feel appreciated.

My new habits are actually going pretty well. The first week, I did blog 4 times during the week, although (reasonably so) I didn't feel like writing much last week.
Walking and journaling do well during the week, but on weekends, they seem to lapse. My flylady habits are still spotty, but getting better as I am seeing clients at my home. This kind of forces the issue.

And my crown (the one on my tooth, not the one that I wear when I am being the "queen of all i see") is doing well as long as don't grind my teeth - then it hurts.

free will astrology

2008-09-18T11:21:00.000-07:00

Years ago, my friend Victoria turned me on to Free Will Astrology. Now, many people poo poo astrology - that is fine. This astrologer writes things in a fabulous and cryptic way so you take from it what you need. In reading on that site this morning, I found two things that struck cords within me and seemed worth sharing. Neither were horoscopes but from Rob Breznsy's book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

The first:

A Spell to Commit Pronoia, by psychotherapist Jennifer Welwood:

Willing to experience aloneness,
I discover connection everywhere;
Turning to face my fear, I meet the warrior who lives within;
Opening to my loss, I am given unimaginable gifts;
Surrendering into emptiness, I find fullness without end.
Each condition I flee from pursues me.
Each condition I welcome transforms me
And becomes itself transformed Into its radiant jewel-like essence.
I bow to the one who has made it so, Who has crafted this Master Game;
To play it is pure delight, To honor it is true devotion.

And the second had the directions to notice how you feel as you speak the following:

"The strong, independent part of me resisted the embarrassing truth for a long time, but I finally came to accept that I'm someone who craves vast amounts of love. Ever since I surrendered to this need, it doesn't nag me all the time, as it used to. In fact, it feels comforting, like a source of sweetness that doesn't go away. I never thought I'd say this, but I've come to treasure the feeling of having a voracious yearning to be loved."

my heart actually hurts

2008-09-17T00:25:00.000-07:00

That will teach me to write about someone I am excited about.
Of all the ways I thought this evening could go, this did occur to me; and yet it obviously wasn't the one I planned for.
I fall for the kinda dorky guy who is really funny and fun and who seems to be enchanted with me. But alas, he was polite tonite, but that was it. I didn't stay to ring in his birthday. I gave him a card and flowers that I had bought him before I left. The card had made me laugh in the store; all it said was Kiss Me. As tonite, he didn't, it seemed a whole lot less funny.
Part of me wants to send him an email now that it is midnight, wishing him a happy birthday and letting him know (gently, not meanly) that he hurt my heart.
But, I either don't have the courage to be that vulnerable (and yet here I am writing on my blog) or my ego doesn't think she could handle it.
So I keep breathing into my heart hoping that will make it heal faster because this seems so silly but it still hurts.
I guess I won't be going to his party this Saturday night. Luckily I have another party I was planning to also attend that I have been looking forward to.

quick list of desires

2008-09-15T23:55:00.000-07:00

1. the man i met yesterday doesn't read this blog anytime soon
2. my class tomorrow is fun and fulfilling for all involved
3. the dentist tomorrow is graceful and easy (and not too painful)
4. I get to help man previously mentioned celebrate his birthday
5. I find a fabulous silver outfit to wear to his party saturday.
6. I sleep well and wake up refreshed.

(and now to do #6 I shall turn off the computer and go to bed).

Full days that need naps

2008-09-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

The last 48 hours have been full. Last night was a friend and coworker's going away party. I am sad to see her leave. And I was introduced to a friend of hers who makes me smile (and laugh). When he heard what two things I do for a living, he asked if I wanted to get married and have kids too. In the course of the evening he invited me to several things this week. I am hoping he follows through with the details to them all. He had given me his card and asked me to email him. So, after my massage client today, I did. Then I took a nap. He emailed while I was sleeping and somehow I completely missed it and spent all evening thinking he hadn't emailed. I know - I am a dork. This evening I went to go see jazz at the Jazz Bakery with my friend Coco. The set we heard was all old classics many of which I have heard Frank Sinatra cover. They were really lovely mellow love songs. It is hard not to think about someone you just met and like while you are sitting in a dark room listening to love songs sung with a jazz trio. (and yes I did email him back when I figured out he had emailed).

I did go to yoga today too and practiced breathing into my heart.

sightings...

2008-09-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

Part of the fun of living in lala land is that every so often you get to see someone famous that you admire. This week I had two of those sightings!!! Neither is particularly famous. But I admire both of them. Granted, I didn't stop and talk to either of them, so it may just have been their doppelgangers, in which case, it doesn't matter, as it just made me excited.

Thursday, before going into the studio to teach, I stopped by the Starbucks near work. As I was leaving I saw this interesting looking guy with fitted jeans (not the norm for LA) and long skinny pointed shoes. It was the lead singer of Kinky. (as I write my iTunes shuffle just started playing one of their songs - tee hee hee). If I had had the courage to speak to him, I would have told him that I love to watch him dance. They way he moves across the stage is just so much fun, it makes me want to dance. Unfortunately, being in the crowd at concerts doesn't allow for that kind of movement, and jumping up and down in place just makes me frustrated. So I usually just stand still and watch.

Then, this morning walking back from the farmer's market with my breakfast and my groceries, I saw this redheaded man pushing a double stroller. When he looked up, it was the actor from the tv series Life. This was my favorite new show from last season. I am so excited it is coming back (the end of this month). I was just talking about this show on Friday.

The singer's name is Gilberto Cerezo and the actor's name is Damian Lewis. But I didn't know that before now. I have just admired them namelessly for a long time.

habits...

2008-09-10T23:07:00.000-07:00

It takes 28 days to form a habit. I was talking about this with a friend of mine yesterday. One of her new habits is eating at home or eating something she made at home. Great habit to start. Last night before going to bed, i thought that there were a few habits I, too, wanted to start. Here goes: journaling every morning, blogging - at least 4 x per week, and walking every morning and their are some "flylady" habits I am starting too. Day one - so far so good. There are several things I want to blog about - my trip last weekend to San Francisco, the thing at the pier last month, my adventures on the subway & going to see Kinky, thoughts on men, and , hmmm.. i think that is it for now. (I think that is considered a teaser). Tonite, is all about habits - perhaps rituals is a better word.

Talya, the beach and Barcelona

2008-08-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

My friend Talya had a full afternoon evening together. We went to the beach and told stories on ourselves (we did verbal spring cleaning), we went to dinner and started desire lists, and we saw Vicki Christina Barcelona. Spring Cleaning was great, we got the charge off several different topics for each of us. Dinner was yummy (Library Ale House). And the movie... Well the movie was a slice of life that while interesting, after all was said and done, I didn't see the point - perhaps that is the point.

Quick side notes: Frankie seems better. And I did a splits catch in trapeze class on thursday. AND I am almost done with my Diploma A in Shiatsu school.

Frankie and the Vet

2008-08-11T16:33:00.000-07:00

Frankie is 18.5 years old. I have had her since she was a kitten. Her kidneys are not working at the level to which she needs them, but they are probably working pretty damn well for someone her age. Unfortunately, it isn't good enough for her to function really well. Lately she seems like a crotchety old lady (some of you might say, like her mother). She wakes me up early; she doesn't like to clean herself (like a really old lady) and she is a VERY finicky eater and every so often (actually rarely) she is incontinent. Last week, she pretty much stopped eating, so I force fed her baby food. I took her to the vet Friday. She had started picking on food a wee bit again. Yesterday, I left her at the vet all day for her to get fluids intravenously. And she was sent home with an IV of fluid for me to prick her with each day (or every other, depending upon her) a give her fluids under her skin (thank god, they don't expect me to find a vein). She did have a catheter in at the vets yesterday, so she has a bald spot on her paw now. I just gave Frankie her first dose of fluid today. She was actually good about it - I was much more upset than she. Here she is with the bandaid they gave her (her bald spot is under the wrap) - unfortunately my camera always pauses before taking a picture. Her bandaid matched her eyes.

Trapeze pictures

2008-08-10T22:59:00.000-07:00

Teri slowly climbing ladder.

Teri getting set to "ready & hep" with the help of Jonathon and Jonathon

Tracy waiting for commands

Rie waiting for trapeze.

Me listening to directions on how to get down.

After a break of about 18 years...

2008-08-10T21:23:00.001-07:00

After a break of about 18 years, I have made my way back to the flying trapeze. Trying it in Club Med when I was 23 caused me to quit my job and run away with the circus and do single trapeze (actually a lyra). The Trapeze School of NY has come to the Santa Monica Pier. Jonathon, who runs it, offered a class for me and my friends/co-workers and 5 of us took him up on it. Teri (who is horribly afraid of heights and ladders) did it once. The rest of us did it several times and even got caught on the other end. The physicality of it came back quickly. It is a test of nerves every time. Kind of like climbing the tower at camp. Everyone enjoyed it. It was Teri and Laura's first time. Tracy and Rie had done it much more recently than I. And now I am signed up for classes that I will take thursday mornings. I am so excited. I just realized I should have taken a picture of us all together afterwards with the people helping us (the guys helping us were hot). But, oh, well. (see pictures of us in action in next post)

First Week of Being Underemployed

2008-08-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

This week was my first week of being underemployed. It was amazingly still full. Monday I discovered Facebook - okay that is a time suck. Fun, but wow. Tuesday I have classes that aren't back to back during the day, which was fine when I worked in the office. Now it is a little wierd. But after my second class, some of my long time students wanted to grab something downstairs to eat and after my third class (which isn't normal for me to teach) we went and saw Batman (which was good). Wednesday I had both school and work and the time in between seemed to disappear quickly. Thursday, I had appointments in the morning and then work. Friday I had school; I took Frankie to the vet and I went to yoga. It is amazing how easy it is to fill up a week. Now in addition to school, I have trapeze class on thursday mornings (see next entry).

Theme of the Week

2008-08-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

Funny, last night just before going to bed, I realized this week has a theme - clearing out shit. It makes me laugh. Not only am I doing this literally (see the Coffee Episode), but I am cleaning out my desk, my filing cabinet, my email, my files on my computer. Perhaps next week will be about clearing out my shit at home. Hmmmm....

Mash ups

2008-08-01T01:03:00.000-07:00

In cleaning out my desk, I found a website for mashups. I found two that I really like.

Pour Some Hot Sugar
by A plus D

and

Tender Umbrella
by Party Ben

enjoy!

Friday August 1, 2008

2008-08-01T00:50:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow (actually today, but I have yet to go to bed) is my last day at work. It is weird. I plan to get all of my outstanding expense reports done and turned in. What seems really weird is that almost no one will be in the office tomorrow. My office mate (one of my bosses) will be in the OC, her assistant isn't in, my other boss is in SF, and the two big bosses are in Chicago. And I don't think many people will be in at all. odd and weird. I am taking class in the evening to end my day, which will be a good end to a weird day.

A friend said to me this evening that it is the end of an era. Which seems so apropos, and I had named my playlist for this evening exactly that. I didn't finish the playlist as I found another I really liked and hadn't used in a long time. But here are some of the songs from it...

18 - Moby
Smoke and Ashes - Tracy Chapman
Perdido en Ti - Diego
I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got - Sinead O'Connor
Fallin' - Alicia Keys
Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
Like This - Mims
Fight the Power - Korn featuring Xzibit
Elevator (feat. Timbaland) - Flo Rida
I Say Hey - Kinky

(some of them are just new things that I just got, some are old favs, and some that I didn't even choose for the "theme" are very apropos).

Life is weird. And I am so glad my week now seems so full of possibility rather than full of "have to"s.

the coffee episode

2008-08-01T00:35:00.000-07:00

So, anyone who knows me, knows I gave up drinking coffee about 2 years ago. Well, this has nothing to do with drinking coffee. So continue reading at your own risk.

Two weeks ago in my Pain and Orthopedic Evaluation class, my teacher got tired of telling people one on one how to do a coffee enema. So, he gave us all the directions. My thought was, hhmmmm...some day.

Well, this last Saturday in my deep tissue class, my teacher announced that this week (the upcoming Saturday) we would be working on the Psoas - which lies under your large intestine (i think i have my anatomy correct there) and we should clear out our large intestines before class this week and the best way to do this was a coffee enema.

Okay, I thought, I can do this, my mom used to do them all the time (part of the Gerson Therapy). But, I'd better try it before Friday or Saturday, because I don't know the timing of my body.

So, Sunday, I bought an enema bag and Monday, I bought coffee - organic, free trade coffee. So, Monday night, I proceeded to give myself a coffee enema. Granted I completely disregarded my teacher's directions that one should not do this at night (because I wasn't going to have any day time to do it until Saturday) and I disregarded my friend saying it was like really good cocaine (hmmm... what does that do, keep you up?). Well, I didn't keep the coffee in as long as you are supposed to. Perhaps that was a good thing. I was so wired, it was hard to get to sleep and when I did, I didn't sleep well. Granted, I slept on the floor due to my concern that relaxing might make a mess (which it didn't - thank goodness) and I think people were climbing on the fire escape during the night - or I might have just imagined that. Anyway I didn't sleep well or much and I was still wired in the morning.

The wierd, nostalgic thing was the smell reminded me of my mom as she did coffee enemas as part of the Gerson Therapy when she was sick.

Anyway, I am going to do it again early Saturday morning. We shall see how it goes the second time.

thoughts

2008-08-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

So many things to write about. Tomorrow is my last day at work (the office part of my job aka the stable income portion). The coffee episode from earlier in the week. My new portable hard drive (yes I am a geek). A phone call from someone checking in on me to make sure I am okay. A referral on LnkdIn from a woman I used to work with (at my current job) that made me feel appreciated. I haven't written at all about massage school - which I love. And I keep coming up with things I want to do and I will actually have time to do now (although I may not be able to afford them - but where there is a will, there is a way).

(yes, this entry is total stream of consciousness).

Fired

2008-07-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

Fired, let go, we are cutting back...
Whatever, I just got fired from my day job.
Not sure how I feel about it. I think my last day is the last day of the month. I have one whole extra week of pay - woo hoo! and i do have health insurance through the end of the year. Part of me wants to rebel. Part of me wants to cry. Other than financial stability it is probably a good thing.

Thoughts on writing

2008-07-14T22:15:00.000-07:00

There are so many things I think of writing during my week and yet I don't. There is a poem about frustration. There are my thoughts about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome (that is the definition of crazy right?). My thoughts on shiatzu (that I like it and my classes). Wanting to go to yoga and not making it. General thoughts on life. I think I need to write them down somewhere else before writing them here.

DESIRES

2008-07-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

I am about to leave the office, my hours seem crazy now that I am in school (but I love school, so it is worth it). Anyway, as I redid my white board, updating what I am working on, I also updated my desires...

MY DESIRES (currently)
1. Remain Hiveless
2. Grace (always)
3. Fun dates with future loverman-husband
4. Remunerated (paid) such that I feel valued and appreciated
5. A yoga practice
6. Speak Spanish well
7. Find time for ballet
8. A 1 bedroom with a yard in my neighborhood that is affordable and fabulous
9. A Newfoundland (choclate brown)

things I am excited about today!!

2008-07-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

Today I am excited about several unrelated things...

1. Going to see Wanted this weekend with a friend.
2. A body work workshop that I signed up for on Saturdays with my Anatomy teacher.
3. Kinky is playing at a street fair in Los Angeles next month.

I know, I am a geek. But these things excite me.

texas sky

2008-06-23T23:41:00.000-07:00

the sky in texas and the clouds in it were unbelievable. I have posted a bunch of pictures of it on my flicker site. Here is my favorite.

an aside... I just found some things I had written months ago. I will post them soon.

my heart got bruised and my ego got battered but all in all this weekend was good.

home & sick

2008-06-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I am not homesick anymore. Just at home and actually sick. I slept most of yesterday and slept in today. Unfortunately I can't get out of all of my commitments for this evening. I am going to Crazy Girls with my students. But as there will be lots of classes there, I may be able to scoot out early. I feel like there is a balance between not spreading germs and not letting people down (and of course taking care of oneself - why does that one always seem to fall last?).

FOG

2008-06-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

One of the things I missed about home was fog. And today, this morning, it is here to welcome me home. Fog, thick and cool. Some call it June Gloom. I consider it God's air conditioning. It is so great to back in the fog. It is the little things - Waking up with my cat to a foggy sky.

silently for me...

2008-06-08T16:06:00.000-07:00

Home - where everything is waiting. I am about to head off to Hobby airport and fly HOME!!! I am very excited. Very tired. I need to study and sleep. And Frankie will be VERY glad to see me.
I can't wait. I have a bunch of pix to put up from this trip - mostly of the clouds as they seem very different here. Some of the architecture in Austin. But the sky here in Texas is beautiful. I will put them up on flicker sometime after my Spanish final. HOME here I come!!!

Rain

2008-06-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a walk. It was nice and cool as I left with big clouds blowing across the sky. And on my way back, they opened up and big drops of rain fell. At first sporadically, then in sheets. It was fabulous as it isn't cold enough to care that you are wet. It looks dark and dreary but it feels refreshing (not so refreshing that I wanted to stay outside after I made it all the way back, but refreshing none the less). The sidewalks were a bit slick and worrisome, but it was great. I got back to a freshly cleaned room. Gotta love it.

3 days

2008-06-05T23:39:00.000-07:00

Three days until I fly home. I am so very excited. Granted I have a final in Spanish on Monday. So all my spare time (not all but alot) is tied up in studying. Also I have been watching the last season of Sex In the City as I was told I needed to before seeing the movie. It is hard not to keep watching more and more. But Spanish must fit in somewhere - there are lots of words and verbs and preterites and accents to memorize. Anyway, life is good and I am going home.

Iron Man to Roger Ebert to Studs Terkel

2008-06-01T17:43:00.000-07:00

Tonite thinking about going to the movies, I was looking up Ironman and to make sure I had gotten the right name of the movie, I came across Roger Ebert's review of the movie. After reading that, I noticed a link to a previous blog entry of his regarding Studs Terkel. I was introduced to Studs Terkels work in my acting class with John Short. He had us choose monologues from one of Mr. Terkels' books. Anyway, Roger Ebert's article about him touched me and I just wanted to share it.

the perfect employment

2008-05-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking alot on this trip, what would I like to change about my job (other than my salary) that would make me happier.

I love training and teaching. What don't I like? and can I stop doing it?

Preliminary thoughts.

Thinking about getting a job at a bookstore as I love books, but I am afraid it would just be too frustrating to have all these books to read around you and not being allowed to.

I have been thinking about going to massage school. It is something I have always been good at. I don't know if I'd like to do it as a job though. But learning more can't hurt and the anatomy portion would be great for teaching what I teach now.

The fact I discovered the job I have now and it is almost perfect makes me think I can somehow rearrange it so it is at least closer to perfect. Is that asking too much? Is it just a case of feeling appreciated (financially and otherwise) and will that change? can it change? what can I do to cause it to change? What can I change about how I do my job to have it change?

Random thoughts... stream of conciousness...

Houston Day 11

2008-05-27T19:26:00.000-07:00

Although the clouds were white and fluffy early this afternoon, late this afternoon they were a bit more menacing. No rain as of yet. I am sitting in my Greek Coffee shop contemplating a glass of wine (while they serve no actual food, but muffins and baklava) they have a great wine selection. This is the most crowded I have seen it, granted it is the latest I have been here. I couldn't stay cooped up in my hotel room doing my Spanish homework, so I ventured out a few hours ago. I had a really yummy salad across the street and made my way over here for the internet access to finish up homework and get some actual work done.

I read my friend Lauren's blog today, she is an amazing writer. When I sit to write, I feel as if I don't have profound thoughts. There is stuff other than the day to day I need to get out, but I find myself editing, worrying about who may read this, especially if it is work related. I suppose I just need to write and then edit it before I put it up. Ahhh, a two part process, hmmm...

Houston

2008-05-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

One of the things I have noticed about Houston is that the sky is a beautiful blue and their are usually poofy white clouds traveling across it. It is really flat here so you see the clouds come and go from farther away than I am used to.

Heath

2008-05-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

I saw this before I left for Houston, prompting this post.

It has been months since Heath Ledger died. I read this article back in January and it summed up a lot of what I felt about him. Personally, I loved the way he moved. And the scene from "10 Things I Hate About You" is one that I always think about when I think of him and how he moved, completely unselfconsciously.

It is a good article.

greece is following me around

2008-05-22T15:35:00.000-07:00

(saying that outloud, you might be thinking Grease, the musical, but no I mean Greece). In Chicago there was Greektown. Here in Houston there must be a large Greek population too. There are two greek restaurants within walking distance of my abode AND our studio manager here recommended a few places for me to go and hang out to work and I went to the first one today and it is a Greek coffeeshop completely equipped with lots of cans of Nescafe. They also have a great wine selection, of which I want to try but as they don't serve food other than muffins and sweets and I have been here for hours, I don't think it is a smart idea. I will have to come back sometime after having eaten. Anyway, I am enchanted. (and I got a lot of work done).

Off to Houston

2008-05-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

Today I am off to Houston and it is only 70 degrees there right now (which is VERY low for Houston). My cab comes in two hours and I feel as if I have it under control. We shall see. I made sure to curl up with Frankie this morning after my alarm went off. I will miss her. She is a funny little old lady. My friend Dot is coming to stay with her while I am gone. (ooh, I need to leave directions.) I have pictures and ideas I have been postponing posting. I should be able to get them up from Houston. I have one day there that overlaps with a friend that is currently there training. That day of overlap is always the most fun as you have a friend to hang out with. The last few days have been very full and a bit sleep deprived. I got a lot done yesterday and I felt like I was in a haze for most of it. Sleep makes such a huge difference. Off to finish packing (and leaving cat directions).

a beautiful friday morning

2008-05-02T09:14:00.001-07:00

On my walk this morning, the ocean was a beautiful blue with a silvery sheen. And on the horizon it just blended into the sky. You could tell where the sky was (unfortunately due to the smog) but you couldn't see a clear delineation. It was beautiful. And now I get to pay some bills and go to work!

mi profesora del espanol

2008-04-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

My Spanish teacher is fabulous. She is so enthusiastic. If you do everything she lists on the homework, you can't fail. Granted it is time consuming, but it works. I hope my enthusiasm rubs off on my students as hers does on me.

(and i don't know how to make accents on the blog - the n in espanol should have a ~ over it.)

Jared Leto

2008-04-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

Friday night, I went and saw Chapter 27 at the Nuart. Both Mr. Leto and the director/writer Mr. Schaefer were there to talk afterwards. I wasn't sitting very close and my students will be very upset to learn that I wasn't forward or pushy enough to actually meet Jared Leto. But the talk was good. He was well spoken and carried himself well. And I discovered a great used book store around the corner from the theatre. I found a book of essays by Julia Alvarez (which I didn't buy - but it looked good considering I much prefer novels to short stories) and I bought an Ethan Canin novel. A bonus to the evening was that my friend Super Duper was at the theatre too. It was good to see him.

Parking

2008-04-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

I have parking in my building. I didn't know I would get so excited about something so simple, but I am. It makes life so much easier. I got the remote Friday when I got home. When I got home Friday night the remote didn't work - I was so bummed I didn't get to try it out. Saturday, our maintenance man helped me, I have a key that works that I can use until I get a new remote. It is so fabulous. The thing I will miss the most is walking by the coffee shop everyday on my way out.

I want to go grocery shopping for lots of groceries so I can park in MY PARKING SPOT and easily unload them right into the elevator. It is the simple things that make us happy.

Peeling skin?

2008-03-26T17:27:00.000-07:00

My skin is peeling from my hands. I am actually applying more lotion than I normally do to hinder the peel. But perhaps it is just that I am like a snake, shedding a layer of skin. What is it that I am shedding? What is it that I am getting rid of? Are bad/unhealthy habits falling by the wayside as I take on healthy habits (or are they still lurking?). What do I need to shed? What concepts, values, beliefs have I been holding true need to be gotten rid of just like that things in my closet that need to go to Good Will? How do you get rid of beliefs and values? How do you replace them? Do you get rid of them like clothes knowing that great stuff will show up an fill the void? Or are they like habits, take on new ones to push out the old ones? And which values and beliefs need the old spring cleaning? What else do I need to shed?

Hives and mental health update and rambling

2008-03-24T00:57:00.000-07:00

So everything seems to be on the upswing. Hives are almost gone. My homework from my healer is to make time for fun and to dine. (What's wrong with eating on the run? It is efficient) So, new habits are going into place. It should be interesting on the days I am at work from noon to 10P. Last week I fit in my meditation before teaching, now I get to fit in that AND dining. hmmmm....

I took class for myself Saturday evening, which was great. And tonite I went and saw the movie Charlie Bartlett with Dot.

The other thing my healer said is that I shouldn't continue to see the person I have been seeing on and off for awhile. She said he is too serious and I need someone fun. And she said he is scared to get too close, whereas he has told me he has intimacy issues (can you say "red flag"?). Have you ever wondered if you will ever find sex quite as fabulous? He may not be "fun" but...

It would be easier if I were interested in someone other than him and my celebrity boyfriends, George and James (Clooney and McAvoy respectively). (yes i have a fertile imagination)

thoughts to sleep on

Kinky

2008-03-24T00:50:00.001-07:00

(okay, watch your mind...the band)
Kinky is one of my favorite bands. They are from Mexico. I first saw them at a KCRW concert with Victoria and her niece, Ashley. They reminded me of a Mexican Beastie Boys. They have since gone more techno with some of their stuff. But the way they move and play off each other is so fun and lively. I love the way the lead singer moves. He uses the entire stage. Standing in a crowd and trying to dance while watching him dance is just frustrating because you don't have even of the fraction of the space he does.

Tuesday they played the Mayan (downtown LA). It is a cool venue. I went after my Spanish class (the quiz is always at the end of class). But I caught most of the show. Where I was standing the bass was so loud, I could feel my shirt push against my skin. It was wild. They seemed not as lively as normal. But they had played a gig the night before in Anaheim. Last night (Saturday) they played in Santa Barbara. I was tempted to go, but that would have made for a crazy weekend. And a weekend without travel right now is a blessing.

Hives and my mental health

2008-03-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

At some point early this week, my sister pointed out that I didn't seem happy. And unfortunately she is right. So we talked about things that would help - a therapist, chocolate, and sex. (Granted chocolate and sex are short term, but endorphins are always good). She was big on the therapist for the long haul and chocolate in the meantime.

Midweek, I went for a waxing, but due to the hives, we really couldn't wax. My waxer and I were talking and she recommended I check out her talking doctor and then she called someone she knows that is kind of an intuitive - she clears crap out of your energy (I think that is how one might describe it). She talked to me for a couple minutes and said my hives were probably due to one of three things (let's see if i can remember all three). All three struck a chord. The first had to do with abandonment issues "probably concerning your mother." hmmmm.... The second had something to do with feeling like a victim (I don't remember but it struck home the way she said it). And the third had to do with feeling like you haven't done enough (which is pretty much how I always feel) but she said it stemmed from something in my childhood and childhood responsibilities. I haven't called her to get her services for clearing yet. Still mulling it over, but... she seems onto something.

I finally called my healer and she said my hives were probably due to stress and too much heat in my body. To eat/drink thinks that would cool me down (ie: grapefruit juice) and to concentrate on being happy. It is hard to take someone telling you to be happy, when you don't feel like you have access to it at all. But I am going to see her today and I have been drinking lots of grapefruit juice.

Thursday I did have a meeting with our COO where we discussed my job duties and my salary. This meeting made me feel much better for several reasons - I felt heard and I got that she appreciates me.

Yesterday I saw my acupuncturist. She thinks the hives are a virus trapped in an energy channel (it makes sense when she explains it). And there might be something connected to my large intestine too. So I am taking fiber and flax seed oil and a skin remedy.

So somehow all of these things culminating have helped my hives - they are still here and itch, but not as bad - which is a step in the right direction. And although I wouldn't say I am happy, I wouldn't say it feels completely inaccessible either.

Hives (probably more than you ever wanted to know)

2008-03-22T10:27:00.001-07:00

I have had hives all week. This is the worst case of hives I have ever had. They began Sunday night during the Vedic Meditation intro I went to. By the time I went to bed my body was slightly swollen and very itchy. Before this last July, I had only gotten hives once and that was an allergic reaction to penicillin when I was 17 and they were only on the backs of my legs. In July I got them on my hands the morning of Victoria's baby shower and I was afraid I had some weird athlete's foot on my hands so I wore gloves to the shower. By the end of that day, they were all over me and they lasted about a week. Since then I have had them on and off but mostly just on my hands, elbows and knees. This time - kabamm. They have gotten much better since thursday.

I usually get them from stress. Now my acupuncturist thinks it may be due to a virus caught in my body. I still think their onset is stress related. This time I think my body had reaction to my starting meditation. Almost as if my body thinks it needs the stress and this is it's reaction to my deciding to start to get rid of stress. Like my body saying - "you think you are going to get rid of stress - Hah! this is what we think of that!" Or maybe it is my body saying "Oh my god, look how much we need this! You must do this, look this is how stressed out your body is." Either way it itches like hell.

The last two mornings although the majority of my body is better, my hands have itched to high heaven and my knuckles are swollen (not as badly as earlier in the week, but still). It is almost as if I want to rip my fingers off to get them to stop itching or maybe just rip the skin off my fingers. arrgh (yes they itch right now).

pov

2008-02-24T23:26:00.000-08:00

I knew this last week at work would be full and possibly hairy and harried. It actually went well AND I feel that since I decided to be good with whatever, my attitude about it was much better. It was a definite choice that I made on Sunday. It made it so much better.

travel

2008-02-24T23:22:00.000-08:00

This last week was a big week at work. We were training people from all over the country at our LA studio. This week, we are moving offices. This weekend I am off to NYC to complete their upper level training. The next weekend, I am off to SF to begin their upper level training. The NYC group is 3 people. The SF group is 7. Very different. Also in SF, my dad is having his 75th birthday party. This will be fun (except for the part that I have to go and train directly afterwards, but that will work out).

I am not quite sure why I am writing this but I am.

spanish class

2008-02-24T23:16:00.000-08:00

Just got the email from my teacher saying she'd posted our quiz grades - tee hee hee - I got 100% on my first quiz. I am very excited. I hope I do as well this tuesday night. I have a lot to study before then. I am doing well on the homework, but I can check if I am correct and reference things before I complete it. So there are things to memorize before tuesday. We will see how studying goes with traveling these next two weekends. Oh my goodness.

new glasses

2008-02-13T19:07:00.001-08:00

See them on flickr. I wore them today and granted I actually accessorized my outfit. But everyone complimented me on my the color of my sweater or necklace or my earrings, but not my glasses. Only the people I mentioned I had gotten new glasses to, complimented me on my glasses. funny. I really like these as they have more peripheral vison that my old ones (the lenses are wider).