I have seen this quote several times on Facebook in the last few weeks, if not months.  Every time I've seen it, it brought to mind something that I really hoped I would not have to let go of and yet I knew on some level in my heart and in my head that I would and I should.  At least let go of how it was.

Today I let go.  It is sad.  I will probably go through many spaces of sad and mad for awhile.

I know I loved largely.  I hope I lived gently, albeit perhaps a bit too meekly.  And I hope I am letting go gracefully; not "nicely" but gracefully and truthfully.

I just found this unpublished.  It was written over a year ago.  

musings in the rain...

As I walked in the rain this evening, which in Southern California is a rare treat, I realized almost everything I was wearing had been given to me.  I felt very loved.  My hat was knit by my Grandmother.  My rain slicker was bought for me by my parents, right before I started college.  My sweater is a hand me down from my step-mom.  My jeans are hand me downs from my very tall friend, Cindy.  My socks were a gift from a student (I believe); and my rain boots were a Christmas gift from my sister.  The only other items, my underwear and my new Giants t-shirt, I bought.  I feel very blessed an thankful.

As I walked I passed the museum that currently has an exhibit from a famous tattoo parlor (I kind of assume it is pictures of the tattoos), I wondered if having images of things you love or art created by those you love all over your body creates the feeling of being engulfed in love.  My tattoos are small and not engulfing, so I don't know.

Then in that way that happened during walks, I wondered what other tattoos I would want.  The two that came to mind were the Blue Ghost (a symbol from my childhood) and the word "breathe." breathe would go on the side of my middle finger, serving the double purpose of reminding me to breathe if I ever got hotheaded enough to flip the bird.  I don't know where the blue ghost would go. Where does a blue ghost live on your body?